Hi, this is my families struggle with an Anorexia. We are normal middle class family in a normal city, and could be your family. We are a family of three my daughter who is 2o months old, myself, and my husband. This is the story of my husband who is in his late twenties and struggling with an eating disorder.
Many, people believe that anorexia is only a mental health disease that affects only women. While it is true that the majority of people who are affected are women. There is percentage of males that are affected by this horrible disease. My husband is one of them. He is brilliant and socially awkward. He is also sensitive, kind hearted, fiercely loyal, and puts others needs before his own.
I noticed his odd behavior with food in the winter of 2009. Then he was only eating lean slices of deli chicken meat, and Gatorade. His weight was above average at the time so I didn't bring it to his attention. He was a former weightlifter who benched around 300 plus pounds. He ended up getting tendonitis in both arms that made it impossible to lift weights any longer. So his build was pretty big to began with.
The diet of chicken slices and Gatorade lasted for much of the winter. I had a infant to watch and really wasn't paying close attention to how much food my husband was taking in. In hindsight, I should have been more aware. I just wasn't looking for it. He switched to chips and salsa for the remainder of winter through the spring.
Our daughters first birthday came, and he went from 200 to 165. Which, looked like normal weight loss to me. He looked fabulous, and this time I noticed his weight loss. I even told him what a good job he was doing and how good he looked.
Sometime in the spring I noticed how much food he was eating or lack there of. He ate maybe 500 calories at this point. I mentioned it to him but he blew me off. I didn't speak of it again until the summer of 2010. I should have been more vocal, I know that now. I should have seen the signs. By this time I knew there was a problem. I was very concerned about his weight and his mental health. Along with fasting he was depressed and cutting.
The cutting wasn't something I didn't know about it. I knew he was a cutter in his youth, but thought he got over it or found other ways of coping. Here my husband is 27 years old and is cutting up his arms. I was beside myself when I saw the marks. I was really worried, and felt lost and helpless. I didn't know how to help him.
Shortly after that, I found him a Psychiatrist. Who thought his weight wasn't a problem and that he wasn't endanger. Thought she felt like he was depressed and would benefit from a anti- depressant. My husband refused and instead decided on talk therapy. I searched for therapist for a week and finally found him a social worker because it appeared that Psychologist
don't accept new patients in the summer.
He went to about four sessions, and then quit. In August his weight dropped dramatically and his face was sucked in and he looked very gaunt. After he quit therapy I knew that he would have to hit rock bottom before he sought help. He was hard to watch but there weren't any other options.
While, all this was going on with him. I was struggling to take care of our daughter while trying to care for him as well. I became severely depressed. The only thing that kept me from doing anything stupid was my daughter. I felt hopeless, and like it didn't matter anymore. Any time those thoughts would popped into my head I reminded myself of my daughter and how selfish I would be to leave her. I made a decision to seek treatment. I went to a psychiatrist got some anti-depressants and that same day made an appointment to talk to a social worker/therapist (someone who has a masters in Psychology). I knew that taking the antidepressants would benefit my husband as well. He started taking some himself when I started them.
A few weeks passed and we saw no improvement in his mood. His depression became even worse and he withdrew from everyone. He locked himself away in our bedroom, and worked from the room, ate in the room, The only time I saw him was just before I went to sleep. He slept maybe two hours a night, and sometimes went days without sleeping. It was horrible to say the least. He had hardly any contact with our daughter at all. He totally withdrew from the world. Our relationship became very strained.
His appetite was barely there. anytime he did binge on Frosted Many Wheat's his stomach cramped so bad that he was curled up in bed, and or he purged once or twice. His diet then consisted of Turkey Jerky, Frosted Many Wheat's, and San Peligreio.
In the beginning of September he was down below 116 lbs. He was cutting himself deeper, and was suicidal. He cut himself so bad one day that he nicked an artery. Instead of going to the hospital he wrapped his wrist in gauze. He made an appointment with his psychiatrist for the next day. The following day he was admitted to a mental health hospital of his own free will. He stayed for 10 days.
Those 10 days were some of the hardest I have ever faced. I knew he was where he needed to be to get help, but it didn't take away the stress. I would cry almost every night. By the time he was admitted he was down to eating 200 calories a day or less. He ate a small package of turkey jerky a day or with 3 days in between eating with some water. He was drinking mass amounts of water which flushed his body of nutrients. He weighed 108 when they weighed him when he was admitted.
While there they upped his antidepressants to the maximum dosage, and tried to get him to talk in group therapy. Getting my husband to talk in social situations is like pulling teeth from an alligator. He is very introverted. By the time he left the hospital he wasn't cutting anymore. That lasted until a week after he was released. He is still cutting and I just hope he is more careful about it. I know there is no way to stop him. It is how he deals with his emotions. He has no other coping skills at this moment. The therapist there suggested aggressive outpatient therapy for his eating disorder.
And, that is where we are today. My husband is in outpatient therapy for his eating disorder. Our fight is not over and with the scarcity of treatment for males it is difficult. There are only two hospitals in the US that have inpatient eating disorder facilities for males. One is in Wisconsin and the other in Louisiana. This could take anywhere from 2 -8 years to overcome. He has a long fight ahead of him. The morbidity rate of this disease for males is much higher than it is for females.
I pray that he can make it through this sometimes I just don't know. I worry everyday for what the future holds for my family. I wonder how much time I have with him. I tell myself to love him as fiercely as I can, because I don't know how much time I will have with him.
This is just a general summary. I will be going into the details more in depth in my later postings. Right now I'm emotionally drained from retelling this. I hope who ever reads this realizes that eating disorders in males is becoming more prevalent. There are resources out there for help. It is just a matter of finding them. I hope to bring more attention to this issue. That is my goal through out this blog.
